There is no place for abuse in any relationship

We often think being in an abusive relationship means suffering only from physical abuse – a situation where a woman hides bruises or makes excuses to friends and family about the occasional black eye. However, there are many more types of abuse: emotional, verbal, sexual, even economic abuse, where a partner withholds money or steals credit cards from their partner. All forms of abuse are attempts by the abuser to gain control of their partner until they erode all of their independence and self worth, and all types of abuse have extremely damaging effects.

Emotional abuse takes just as much of a toll as physical abuse. Many women mistakenly think that they are not in an abusive relationship because they have never been hit or beaten by their boyfriend or husband. Emotional abuse includes denying affection or attention, acting extremely jealous and possessive, restricting someone's freedom or making threats against them or their family.

Verbal abuse also affects many relationships. This type of abusive relationship is often difficult to recognize, as a man may make “joking” remarks about his wife or girlfriend, then tell her that she is overreacting or that he was just kidding when she becomes upset. However, if your wife or girlfriend feels hurt and embarrassed after you make a comment, then you are being verbally abusive. Be careful when teasing a girl you are dating; make sure that jokes are all in good fun, and won't be taken as offensive or rude.

In most cases, an abusive relationship doesn't start early on in the dating process, but happens gradually, as a man becomes more comfortable with a woman. This can make it more difficult for a woman to leave, as she will have genuine feelings for the man after weeks or months of dating; in some cases abuse begins after the wedding. Other reasons for staying in an abusive relationship include being financially dependent on the man, having religious beliefs against divorce, or dealing with feelings of inadequacy and low self-image. The common cycle of an abusive relationship also means that a man will abuse his girlfriend or spouse only to profusely apologize and promise it will never happen again, leading to a honeymoon period where everything is wonderful before it happens again.

You have no right to control any woman you're dating, and if you have extreme feelings of jealousy or anger, it's up to you to find healthy ways to deal with them. Know that if you are in any way abusive towards a woman, any sane girl will leave you, call the police and have you arrested, and you will face charges. If the police believe you are a threat to her, you could spend a great deal of time sitting in jail, or be left with a lengthy criminal record that will haunt you as you try to find new jobs or travel. So, no matter how angry or upset you get, don't ever hit, threaten, intimidate or try to control a woman.

Abuse is a two-way street, and while the majority of cases of abuse involve men hurting women, there are situations where a woman is abusive to her boyfriend or husband. Whether you're a man or a women, if you feel that you are involved in an abusive relationship, there are many places you can turn to for help. Local law enforcement and support organizations can offer you all the resources you need to safely break the cycle of an abusive relationship.