Knowing what to say on those first few dates can be difficult. You're nervous, your date is nervous, and there may be a few awkward silences while you both try desperately to fill the conversation. If you can relax and think of a first date as being laid-back and fun, rather than stress-inducing, the conversation will naturally flow after a few minutes. Part of getting to know a girl involves being aware of things you should say – and those you shouldn't – to make a good impression:

Leave past relationships in the past. Don't mention that you once had dinner at this same restaurant with your ex-girlfriend, or badmouth someone you've dated - even if you think you're being complimentary. Saying “You look much better in pink than my ex did,” won't win you any points. Think of it from your date's point of view: would you want to talk about her ex-boyfriends?

Don't try too hard to dazzle her. Sure, you want a girl to like you, and you want to put your best foot forward, but don't get carried away. Guys often feel that they have to talk themselves up on a first date or brag about accomplishments. Be yourself!

Stick to lighthearted topics. Asking a girl for her opinion on a controversial subject on a first date is considered taboo - save the serious questions for later. Stay away from delving into topics like politics, sex, religion and income. When you're in a more serious relationship with a girlfriend, you can comfortably discuss the latest political scandal in depth and respect each other's opinions, but don't start a hot debate when you first meet a girl.

Be honest. While compatibility is important, a guy who nods and agrees with everything a girl likes or doesn't like is boring. You don't have to get argumentative or become defensive, but don't be afraid to speak up and let her know about the things you enjoy, too.

Balance the conversation. Be a good listener, not someone who chatters away at the table and hardly comes up for air. On the other hand, a date who barely talks and stares off into space is no better. Let the conversation be like a tennis match: back and forth. Show her you're interested by asking her questions about herself: Where did you grow up? What do you like to do for fun? Really listen to her answers, and don't just wait for a pause so you can jump in with your own anecdote.

Keep it casual. When you're looking for a girlfriend, it can be tempting to get serious fast with someone you feel might have the potential to be a long term mate. However, no matter how much chemistry you feel in the air, don't start asking her if she wants to have brunch with your parents next Saturday, what her favourite wedding themes are or how many kids she wants – you'll likely scare her off.

Be positive. Don't bring your negative issues to the table. Your date doesn't want to hear you let off steam about the coworker in the cubicle next to you, or discuss your problems with your parents. Avoid complaining and draining your date with mundane stories about daily annoyances.