The Country

Malaysia is a country located in Southeast-Asia, consisting of two separate landmasses; Peninsular Malaysia, on the tip of the Asian mainland together with Sabah and Sarawak, located in the island of Borneo. Malaysia shares her land borders with Thailand, Brunei and Indonesia while the sea borders are shared with China, Philippines, Indonesia, Singapore, Taiwan and Vietnam.

This constitutional monarchy is partitioned into thirteen states and three federal territories and is populated by over 28 million people. Proportionally, one the most ethno linguistically diverse country in the world, Malaysia is dominated by the Malays, who constitute approximately 60% of the population. The Chinese (24%), Indians (8%), Kadazan (2.5%) and Iban (2%) are among the minority races here.

The country is headed by an Agong (literally, supreme ruler), elected from a council of eleven Sultans (rulers of the eleven royal states). However the country is effectively governed by a Prime Minister and his cabinet, supported by the 292 strong Dewan Rakyat (Chamber of The People) and Dewan Negara (Chamber of The Nation), as well as the Dewan Undangan Negeri (State Legislative Chamber), which is an elected state level assembly.

Almost half of the population is bilingual, with a notable minority being trilingual. Malay is the predominant language here however, while English, Chinese (various dialects) and Indian (various dialects) being the other widely spoken language. In selected parts of the country, regional languages are spoken extensively, although Malay remains the official language.

Islam is the official religion of the land, with Hinduism, Christianity, Buddhism and Taoism also registering a significant number of followers. Religion in Malaysia follows closely along ethnic lines and any form of proselytizing is frowned upon.

Relationship With A Malaysian Woman

Dating a Malaysian woman requires an understanding of both the religion and culture of the people. While the Chinese, especially, and the Indians, are more relaxed in their courtship rituals, the Malays generally adheres to the principals of Islam. However, the field evens out in the major cities, as the westernized population is more liberal in their concept of dating.

An important point to note if you are having Malay girlfriend – close proximity in private situations are an offence under the law, and is grounds for your deportation.

Marriage

The sun is chirping and the bird is shining; and you’re in love with your Malaysian girlfriend – what’s next? Well, that depends entirely on her race and religion.

For the predominant Malay, the process begins when you legally adopt Islam as your religion, if you’re not one to begin with. The process is fairly straightforward, although it can take up to three months in some cases. Just approach the nearest Majlis Agama Islam (Islamic Council Office) in your area for further information. Note that conversions to Islam requires adoption of an Islamic name as well, which will be reflected in your official documentation.

Once that is completed, you can then arrange for an intermediary to visit her parents to voice out your intentions and to ascertain their terms for the marriage, a practice commonly known as merisik (reconnaissance). Upon reaching a tacit understanding with the parents, you will then proceed with the formal engagement.

Typically, engagements last for six months before the marriage is solemnized. The engagement will require a delegation from you (which should include at the very least, an elder from your family) with an assortment of symbolic gifts prepared in traditional motifs, arranged in silver platters. The elders from both sides of the family will commence the preceding with a friendly exchange of pantun (a four-verse poem) which commonly alludes to the reason of the visitor’s presence and references to the daughter of the house. A date would then be set for the wedding once the terms are finalized.

The Muslim wedding in Malaysia bears strong Persian and Hindu influence, although it is typically referred to as Arabic. Your bride will be dressed in a white two-piece dress, with a see through shawl to cover her face. The first part of the ceremony, the akad nikah (terms of marriage) ceremony will be conducted either in a local Islamic Council office or at your bride’s residence and be officiated by a licensed Kadi (religious officer).

During the short ceremony, everyone will be seated on the floor, while the Kadi will be reading passages from the Quran before reminding you and your girlfriend on the responsibility of marriage life. The nominal dowry is then handed over. The ceremony will conclude when your bride kisses your hand after the exchange of rings.

You and your new bride will then head for the reception and fitting with your role as royalty for the day, you will be accompanied by relatives and the melodic thumps of the kompang (a traditional portable drum), while sheltered from the weather with a large bunga manggar (a flowery arrangement meant to serve as shade). Upon arrival to the reception site, the both of you will be seated on a dais, receiving your visitors, as well as their gifts.

For the others races meanwhile, marriages are not as formal, although application to the Registrar of Marriage is commonly followed by the solemnization ceremony in a temple, church or hotel ballrooms. The westernized approach to wedding among the non-Muslim here is a growing trend that has concerned the community for the recent past, although traditional influences are still pervasive in some communities in the land.

(Chinese and Indian wedding customs)

Regulation

An application for a marriage license from the Registrar of Marriage should be made with Form JPNKC02, accompanied by your identification papers, two passport sized photographs, travelling papers and a notarized no impediment to marriage certificate.

Two adults must witness this application, and you must have been in Malaysia for at least 7 days prior to the submission. The application will then be placed at the Registrar’s notice board for a period of up to three weeks for public viewing, after which, the Registrar will issue the Certificate of Marriage in the absence of any objection from the members of the public. However, the solemnization process must be taken within six months from the date of issuance.

The solemnization of your marriage must be witnessed by a Religious Council Official (if you are a Muslim) or by a registrar from the National Registration Office for other races. On requests, the officials can attend to off-site registration as well.